Oh, the things they do

Caution:  This post could be considered mildly gross.  If you don't like gross stories, you may want to skip this post.  

Oh, the things kids do.  Let me set the scene.  It was Sunday and we were at church, stake conference to be exact.  We were doing great and feeling great to have gotten there a few minutes early - we even had the opportunity to choose from a variety of different seats in the gym.  Because of the kids, we opted to sit near the back, close to a door in case of a quick need to leave - which later proved necessary.  People from our ward were also entering and many of them started to sit close-by . . . most of them couples who, as of yet, do not have children.  Okay, so now you have a mental picture of the circumstances.

The meeting was about 3/4 complete and the kids were doing surprisingly well.  Parker was playing, reading books, and still happy.  Kambri was a little restless but also hanging in there.  As I was doing my best to listen to one of the talks, Dave grabbed my arm and said, "Candace, Candace, Candace," and in a loud, kind of hysterical whisper he says, "WHAT IS THAT?!"  He then pointed to the ground and as I saw what he was pointing at I thought, "That is either a squished up candy bar or something infinitely more disgusting."  When I realized that it was most likely the latter, I then thought, "How did that get there?"  Kambri was on my lap with a diaper and Parker was also wearing a diaper.  I then grabbed Parker, checked his pants, and my next thought was, "Oh my goodness, we forgot to put a diaper on him."  But on further inspection I found that he did have a diaper, but it was only secured on one side.  At this point in the story, I choose not to place blame.  One of Parker's parents was being super helpful to get him dressed after his bath earlier that morning and we will just continue to be grateful that said parent is so willing to help.  

As I sat pondering how to proceed, Dave jumped up from his chair and ran out the door (as mentioned, we were very near to the door).  I kept looking at Parker and realized his pants were also soaked, so I grabbed his arm, and while still holding Kambri, I headed for the door.  In the hall, Dave ran past us in the opposite direction with an armful of paper towels, and then stopped to grab a handful of wet wipes from the diaper bag I was holding.  He was so flustered He couldn't even talk.   He then returned to the gym to mop up the mess and found, unbeknownst to me, that Parker had left another surprise on our short walk to the door . . . good thing Dave grabbed so many paper towels.  So Dave cleaned the mess and I cleaned Parker and we both spent the remainder of  the meeting listening in the hall - neither of us were anxious to enter the gym again.  I asked Dave what people around him were doing . . . hoping we had gotten at least an understanding smile or maybe someone had made a funny joke about the situation, but Dave said he didn't know.  He said he didn't even look up to see what people were doing, he just kept his head down and cleaned.  He then reminded me that we were surrounded by people without children, and that if he had seen that happen to someone else during our pre-child days, he would have been totally disgusted and wondered about the parenting ability of the parents involved.  At that point, I just laughed, laughed until I had tears, and that was really all I could do.

Right now I just want to say how much I love Dave.  This story really had no potential of being funny to me without Dave in the picture.  He was so flustered and stressed about the whole thing . . . if you know Dave, you can imagine, and you are probably laughing right now.  I love how he is always so willing to help . . . and you'll even notice in the story that he was the one to clean the mess and he didn't even hesitate.  I am so lucky to have him and I love, love, love his personality.

Parker, on the other had, was and is still oblivious to what happened, as any two year old would be.  Oh, how we love our boy.